The Easter Beaver

During the run of the current show at the theater, a joke has continued to surface about the Easter Beaver (as opposed to the Easter Bunny). It’s a long story how the Beaver came about, and a hilarious one. We decided to write and illustrate a creation story, if you will, for the Easter Beaver, which we posted in the green room on Easter. I would like to attribute the writing to the fabulousness of Brett Radke and Katie Mack, and here are my illustrations as well:

Have you ever met a beaver and known him to be different? Let us begin the tale of the Easter Beaver. On this day of joy, you may have heard of a young man named Jesus, or even of a hoppity, egg-carrying bunny. But this story is slightly different. Although it might not move you to jubilant tears, we can promise you one thing: The True Tale of the EASTER BEAVER.

Unlike other beaver pups, this beaver was born with a scowl. While most beavers find pleasure in playing with wood or slapping their tails, this beaver did not.

The young pup would grumble inside, thinking, “Sigh. Woe is me. I know I’m not as happy as a beaver could be.”

Then one day, as the spring flowers were blooming, the young pup was grumbling through the forest, and he happened upon a sorely wounded bunny with pacifiers jammed in both nostrils, close by a scattering of brightly colored eggs. The bunny mumbled, in pain, “Damn those terrible twos!”

The beaver pushed past the bunny, unconcerned with the grumbles of a creature with such a pathetic wad of tail.

As he stood over the eggs a sensation tingled through his right leg, then his left, into his little beaver teeth and eventually into his beaver tail.

Like a magnet to a cork, the beaver had found his joy.

Then, the bunny reached his paw up, and with a death rattle on his breath, began to say, “But you’re not a bu---“…

The beaver stood, trembling, with the colored eggs in hand, and screamed to the heavens:

“I. AM. THE EASTER BEAVER!”

As if in agreement with fate, claiming their newfound successor, the eggs began to dance the G.M.E.D.O.O. The Great Macedonian Egg Dance Of Old.

THE END